I never let my Sims reach old age. I lengthen the time for the young adult and adult stages as far as they will go. The Sim I made of me has four kids – something nearly impossible if the timeline of my Sim’s life had not been tampered with (unless my Sim has quadruplets – God bless her soul).
My grandma is not my grandma anymore. Dementia and Alzheimer’s swallow more of her everyday. She’s why I subconsciously refuse to let my Sims age. I’ve seen it up-close and personal. Why would I subject someone – virtual or real – to that kind of a life?
Grandma was the picture of health when compared to Papa. Papa’s body turned on him with cancer, diabetes and even more problems that he kept a list of (a list that filled up an entire 8.5×11 piece of paper – I’ve seen it). Grandma took care of him. They took care of each other. Now he’s gone (it’s been almost a year) and she’s all alone.
She’s irritable and hard to work with. She puts on a false front for my brothers and me (and cousins, too, when they’re around), but I hear the stories my mom comes home with. Stories about Grandma referencing something that happened 40 years ago, or claiming she just had a conversation with her mother (who’s been dead forever).
I was just getting to the point where I enjoyed riding my bike over to her house to sit and talk with her. After I got my license and Bubbles, I enjoyed taking her out for a ride. We went shopping when we wanted to. I took her out to eat. Now Alzheimer’s has begun settling in and I’m scared of what I’ll find when she opens her door to let me in.
She has her good days and her bad days. Turns out today was one of the bad ones.
The first time she brought a store-bought pie to Thanksgiving, my eyes teared up.
I miss her cookies. I miss her apple pies (I had to finish the last one she started to make, she was so overwhelmed). I miss playing card games and laughing. I miss being the little girl. Now, since her behavior is unpredictable, she’s the child and I’m the adult.
Tonight I’m going to play Sims and let my Sim grow old. I need to face it.
In the words of a band I love called Eisley, “I wasn’t prepared for this.”