This is me rambling, at least

I can’t sleep. That’s right, I said it. It’s half past one o’clock in the morning, and I am announcing that stupid old Insomnia has visited me once more. I thought I had rid myself from his awful, testing grasp…but it seems as though he has me again. I can only hope this is temporary.

So, here I sit. I have two of my many pillows (apparently you can never have too many) supporting my back and to tell the truth, I am losing feeling in my buttocks… not that you needed to know that.

We watched Hoarders until 11, and instead of continuing to watch another episode about some person named Chris who still had baby toys from when her seventeen-year-old daughter was a baby, I decided to retire and headed upstairs with the ‘rents. I arrived at my doorstep (if you can call the carpet leading into one’s bedroom a doorstep) and thought excitedly hey! I can play Kingdom Hearts until the wee hours of the morning! which was soon halted by the book hanging out on my nightstand. Not to mention the dog that had taken up residence on my bed; that was distracting, too.

I forgot all about KH and picked up the book. A friend had remembered to bring it in for me along with one of the counterparts to it, so I picked up reading where I had left off before I hastily put the book down to get to play practice earlier in the evening. I picked up Crank (which I have already read – and last time I read it in once sitting) but after awhile found it to be rather depressing, so I put it down to succumb to the sleep I had been evading. At this point, it was 11:48 PM.

Now, nearly two hours later, after tossing and turning and turning the temperature on my heated blanket down, I have given up on the hopes of maybe catching some shut-eye tonight. Maybe I can get some writing done tonight seeing as how I have three stories for one newspaper due tomorrow (Wednesday) and three more stories that I promised for a different newspaper that I can get done anytime I’d like, but I’d like that anytime to be soon. Piling up on top of this unnecessary stress I put myself through due to my habit of procrastination, I have 118 lines to memorize in the play we’re working on, 4 different National Honors Society forms to pass out to 4 (or maybe it was 5…I can’t remember this early in the AM) different teachers/adults AND an essay due for NHS on top of that. 5 paragraphs in ABC paragraph format that concern me and are all about me. How boring. I don’t even know where to begin. Maybe I’ll print this off and hand it in – this is me, is it not? Me rambling, at least.

I’ve always found that I am a night owl and always get inspired once the sun goes down. Tonight is no exception. While I was tossing and turning and turning and tossing, I was having several brainstorms, but didn’t feel like reaching over to the stack of Post-Its I always keep handy on my nightstand (specifically for those late-night ideas) to write them down. I remember them crystal clear.

  1. Banned-AIDS “Together we can make it so we can say we’ve banned AIDS. Donate your extra bandages and maybe throw in a dollar or two. The littlest contribution can help fix the boo-boos and fight against AIDS in African countries like Uganda.”
  2. Mention how mom has had three different jobs in the last four years and now has one that she likes. Coincidentally, she got the job while she was in college study Public Relations. She holds the position of a PR Specialist.
  3. Picture caption should read “Emily greatly resembles her mother, Nancy, who handled being a mother, helping to provide for her family and attending college classes to earn her Masters Degree all at once.”

Yep, that’s all. Don’t try to wrap your mind around how those three ideas might connect, because they definitely don’t (well, 2 and 3 do). They are very different ideas for two very different things that I’m working on at the moment. Hopefully I can get everything done that I need to be done by the end of this week with flying colors. It would help if I got some sleep, but tomorrow I’ll be loopy, tired and fun…and maybe I can take a nap when I get home from school. Wait…maybe not. I have too much shit to do.

A DJ, a gym and some glow sticks

At 7:o0 yesterday morning, “Into The Ocean” by Blue October started bursting out of the speakers on my triangular iHome. I continually hit the “snooze” button until I could do so no longer. I gave up at 7:30 and dragged my sorry butt out of bed to face what would turn into an extremely long day.

This weekend was Homecoming weekend. The problem was, I hadn’t given Homecoming a single thought because I had a huge obstacle to get through first. Conveniently, we had a cross-country meet in the freezing cold wind and mud. And, my race was to be the last race of the day. We left at 8:30 in order to get there by 10:00, and I didn’t run until 2:30. All of this equals one long and cold day.

I ran well, and yes, hanging out with the team is always fun. I finally met the guy that has been taking pictures at meets (in which I sometimes appeared) for years, and coincidentally he is also one of my employers. I got to snuggle with five of my teammates to build up the warmth we so desperately sought and got to experience one crazy bus ride.

After my race, we [my family] left immediately. After a few stops along the way, we finally got home at 5:00, and my boyfriend was to be at the house at 6:30 to get some pictures taken beforehand.

The dance was fun. My only complaint was the complete lack of slow songs. He (one of my brother’s friends who played the DJ) must have wanted to keep up with the “rave” theme Student Council had whipped up, but he only played three slow songs and I, along with many others, was disappointed. The entire gym smelled like bare feet and glow stick fluid because people kept breaking open the complimentary glow sticks everyone wore around their necks. A friend of mine actually got squirted in the eye with one at the very beginning of the dance, and she commented that it was very painful.

Afterward, we headed up to a friend’s house to attempt an all-nighter. Everyone but my boyfriend, my friend and me fell asleep. At five o’clock, we decided to get back in the hot tub and didn’t end up surfacing from it until seven. And yes, we got very prune-y.

It was a fun night. I was happy that my boyfriend and I matched perfectly and it’s always a treat to see classmates all dolled up instead of just sauntering around in their pajamas or jeans during the average school day.

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From death and funerals to stem cell research and abortion

Cross country season picked back up again. On Monday morning I was awakened by a song coming out of my iHome speaker at 7:30 (which is much too early to meet my approval, I’ll let you know). I got up, showered, grabbed some Cinnamon Toast Crunch and put it in my bag, and then was out the door and on my bike, heading for the high school.

We started running. That’s what you do in cross country, if you didn’t know. We ran up prison hill. Some were encouraged to go on and run around the entire prison (the prison that Lindsay Lohan’s dad was kept, oddly enough), and I was one of those encouraged. I felt great. I had started out in the way back with a couple of my fellow teammates on the girls’ team, but little by little I had inched all the way up to the people that had fallen behind from the leading pack. I passed two newly instated runners and then fell into pace with the smartest kid in our entire school. My plan was to catch up to the leading pack which consisted of my best friend, my boyfriend, and another friend, but instead, he (being the smartest kid) and I started talking. We started talking about stuff that really mattered. Important issues, problems, and beliefs. It was nice to have an intelligent conversation, and it distracted me so much that I didn’t even notice when we passed another kid that had fallen behind from that same leading pack.

Our discussions ranged from death and funerals to stem cell research and abortion. It was like we went through the entire endless cycle of life during that one discussion we had during our run. I told him about the funeral I had had to go to recently and the unfortunate situation it had to be under, and then he shared how once when he was younger he had two funerals in one day to go to. We discussed how we both are not sure if there is a God up there and the hypocritical actions that are associated with members of the Church.

Then came the abortion topic, which then lead to a conversation chock-full of stem cell research. I had heard about it, but wasn’t exactly sure what it was all about. He informed me of everything about it (seeing as how it had been the topic he’d chosen for the recent research paper he’d had to do). What I don’t understand is why people are against it. And, it ties in with the abortion thing. I think that women should be allowed to make the decision of whether or not they want to abort their pregnancy. Let people frown upon a mother’s decision to abort her pregnancy, but if that mother is not ready to be a mother, then why not? If that girl is carrying the baby as the result of a rape she doesn’t want to be reminded of, why not let her make the decision to rid her body of that growing embryo? And, if every woman or girl that decides to have an abortion also donates the stem cells within them, that could initially save lives. You go from “killing” something that doesn’t quite exist yet to saving someone whose liver is failing or is in vital need of a heart transplant and just needs a donor.

Let stem cell research carry on! Let it save lives despite the many frowns of disgust it is receiving! We were put on this earth somehow and are now being plagued by disease left and right. If we’ve discovered a way we can cure, why not carry on and finish it? It means having one less child to feed, sure, but it also means one less person hanging out in an isolation room in the hospital just waiting for that heart or liver or lung or whatever to come. I say that science makes more sense than God. Science can save lives when God obviously can’t.

This shows how observant I am

I honestly am not a very observant person. I don’t recognize details (unless they’re important to me), and I almost never notice anything. Maybe this explains why I made a blunder today.

We had our first “real” Track meet of the 2009 season today. I got up in the morning with almost everything ready, but I needed to grab my cross-country hoodie from the dryer. I wrote a note to myself and stuck it onto my mirror so I would remember to grab said hoodie from the dryer.

Okay, so I remembered just fine without the sticky note, and I went downstairs and pulled my hoodie from the dryer. I put it on over what I was wearing and went along my merry way. I got to school, wore the hoodie for a little while, then put it in my locker before heading off to Health.

For our Track meet, I put on my uniform, my sweats and the hoodie. The opposing team we were to run against arrived just as I was stretching my hamstrings on the steeple. I figured they would see my name on the back of my hoodie and try to swallow their fear. You see, most teams see me as a threat. I fought back a laugh as I pictured the reactions upon seeing my name. Then, I went along with the meet.

The 4X8 went rather well, if I do say so myself. I got a rather decent split time (2:33), and got our team the lead we needed. We won that one.

It was after the 1500 and before the 3000 that I got a clue to my blunder. The 200m races were going on, and all of the people on the infield were to be crouching down so the officials could see one another from across the way. I didn’t think I had to crouch down – I thought I was out of the way. The officials yelled out to me, and then yelled “Hey, JEEVES!” and then when that didn’t work, “GOWANDA!” and, believe me, I crouched. The thing is, I didn’t catch the “JEEVES!” comment at the time.

After the 4X4, I pulled my hoodie back over my head. Suddenly I noticed that there was a rip near a hood, and it made me really sad. The hoodie had taken me through years of running seasons, and there it was, falling apart. I had also noticed earlier that it seemed more stretched out than I remembered, but I figured I must have lost a little weight. (Haha…)

My friend dropped me off at the baseball field to join my parents, and I walked up to them and said: “after years of hanging in there, this hoodie is finally falling apart.” Then my dad sort of looked at me funny and said: “you do know that you’ve been wearing your brother’s cross-country hoodie this whole time, right?”

Suddenly, it hit me. Everything made sense.

His hoodie says “Jeeves” on the back, and I realized that that was what the official had yelled at me earlier. It was obviously stretched out because he’s a little bit bigger than I am, and lastly, I did remember that his hoodie had sort of been tearing near the neckline. I blushed, said: “that explains a lot!” and then flushed with more embarrassment because of my cocky thoughts about how my opponents must have been “swallowing their fear.” What a joke!

If I had taken one quick glance at the name on the back of the hoodie, I could have saved myself from this little “incident.” I bet my friends were all wondering why I was wearing my brother’s hoodie, but they never said a word. I guess this just goes to show how observant I really am.

Climbing to the top

All County tomorrow.

Am I nervous? Naw… I have a kick-ass outfit laid out that is dressy and sophisticated, yet it lets my style show through as opposed to the first outfit I had picked out. Now all I need to do is pack my bag, get some sleep, shower in the morning (this is my review time for the music I’ll be singing that day, of course), gulp down some coffee and a bowl of the last bit of shredded wheat I saved specifically for tomorrow, paint my nails, get dressed, put on some eye makeup so my eyes don’t disappear, clean my glasses, and get out the door successfully. It can be done; I’ve done it all before.

Last year I successfully climbed to the top of my All County ladder and held a major solo in my grasp. Unfortunately, our concert was canceled due to bad weather, but I am certain that that will not be the case this year. If it does happen, I might just jump out of a five-story window. Kidding, of course.

Tomorrow I have to be prepared for anything and everything. You’d better believe that one of my many Emily bags (which to choose?!?) will be transformed into the Barney bag for a while. If you need it, I’ll have it.

Tomorrow’s going to be awesome. I get to sit in a room all day with people that competed to get where they are, just like I and a few of my choir mates have. I get to listen to someone that knows what he’s talking about (not that I don’t get that everyday anyway, because I totally do), but this guy teaches those who are at a college level (my current teacher included). This will be interesting.

My only hope is that we get a nice cozy auditorium with comfy chairs. My bottom hurts right now just thinking of the chairs we had to sit on last year.

Aging is a tiresome process

Yes, it is exciting to be growing up and moving along in the world…but I am also extremely nostalgic. I miss the days where the only thing I cried about was a paper cut or something. Mommy would then kiss it and make it all better. She can’t do that for everything…

I have reached the age of the people I used to stare at and have great respect for when I was younger. If there was a high school student around, she/he was automatically cool – no questions asked. I wondered today if the little girls all around me were looking up to me in awe like I used to do whenever the “big” kids were around. It seems to me as if I will never reach the level of coolness. Right now, college kids are cool to me. The ones that attend school in the city, and sit around in cafes all day drinking lattes and typing on a laptop that is literally in their lap.

My birthday is tomorrow…and though I am one of the youngest in my grade, I feel old. Maybe it is because I have always believed that I am wise beyond my years, but I really wish I could go back in time and be worry-free. Growing up is no fun. I am sick of looking at the clock all the time; watching time pass is so tiresome. Seeing all of those old people at the spaghetti dinner tonight made me wonder why we yearn to grow up when we are young. I always wanted to be a “big” kid – but now I wish my brothers would have warned me about its many “desirable” qualities. *sigh*

Yes, tomorrow will be fun…but at 6:57 in the morning I will be a whole year older. An even bigger girl than I am now.

School

It seems to me like summer never even happened. Now that I am in the day-to-day “school” routine, everything is back to normal. My iPod (PANDORA!!!) sings me the song I picked out the night before at around 5:45 every morning, and then I wait for the playlist to run out before I get up (usually around 6:20). I get up, take a shower, eat breakfast (well, drink some coffee to prevent future headaches), and wash my face before I let my hair down and mess around with it. I walk out the door wearing some crazy outfit (today it is a pair of crazy colored Bermuda shorts, brown high top Chucks with pink shoelaces, a red Hollister 3/4 polo and a white tank top underneath – I know! Hollister! *gasp!*).

School is just okay. Being a sophomore is definitely different. I open up the day with band, then either English or Earth Science for eighty minutes, lunch (yes, at ten o’clock in the morning), Spanish (which has been simple so far because the regular teacher is out sick and our substitute does not know a single word of the language), Global (my teacher is hilarious!) and then Chamber Choir. After Chamber Choir comes either a study hall (where I am right now) or PE. Then, the dreaded Geometry. I have found it easier to focus this year in math. I already got a 100% on our first test, and was the only student to receive said grade (YES! I put it on the fridge! xD).

The end

Today is over. It came and went. Everything that I predicted came true, but there were also a few twists.

I woke up at ten o’clock, just like any other gorgeous summer morning. I rolled around on my bed for a little while before I decided that it really was time to get up. No use wasting the day, right?

The sky today was crystal clear, as was yesterday and the day before that and the day before that. Absolutely no clouds in sight. I wallowed around the house, munching a bowl full of Cinnamon Toast Crunch and looking out the window. I finally stepped outside at one o’clock to get my hair cut.

I walked out of The Chop Shop (local hair place – run by a family friend) a whole new person, my hair shorter and more wild with curls. Of course, I had to ruin it by putting it into tiny little piggy tails for cross country practice.

Practice was hell. H-E-double-hockey sticks. We ran over to Prison Hill, and did hill repeats… In the blistering heat. We did six and then my friend and I ran back to the school together with our shirts lifted up, trying to catch even the slightest hint of a breeze.

I got home and took a dip in the pool (which was FREEZING), and then made breffast fo’ dinna. I barely had enough energy to enjoy the meal I had made, I was so wiped out from practice.

As promised, after dinner my mother drove me to the gravel pit to get a good view of the sun drowning in the sky. We had a hard time getting a good view without burning our eyes out of our sockets, but we eventually settled in and watched the sun disappear.

Now, here I am. My tummy is full, my body is tired, and my eyes are droopy with sleepiness. My hair is wild, my nails are perfectly groomed and polished, and my eyebrows have been plucked to perfection (by who else but moi?). My mother is talking on the phone behind me, I hear the sounds of the TV displaying baseball in the next room, watched by who else but my baseball-crazed dad. I can hear the movie my brother is watching from here because of the insane surround sound system he hooked up. I am tired, and there are noises all around me. I am so glad that I actually did keep my promise and watch the sunset, but now, all I want to do is curl up with a book and read until I am cross-eyed. My body is tired, and I am ready to retire to my bedroom where I will greet the new day. My friend instant messaged me and asked me if I am ready for hell tomorrow. I guess I will have to live through a day and decide whether this year will be hell or not. As of now, I really cannot judge.

Quote of the day:

“When it rains, it fricken pours!”

Tomorrow mourning

Tomorrow morning will arrive and announce itself as the last morning of vacation. Tomorrow will bring the first of many lasts.

I will wake up at around ten o’clock tomorrow morning and roll over, rubbing my eyes the whole time. I will then sit up and admire my newly cleaned out closet and maybe turn my iPod on for a minute and enjoy some of my favorite tunes. It will be the last morning where I can lazily creep out of bed and head downstairs without shooting worrisome looks at the clock. I will help myself to whatever food I can find in the kitchen, and then laze away by the pool or watch some TV until I have to attend cross country practice.

By this time tomorrow night, I will be in bed staring out my window. I will have already watched the sun go down, mourning the last sunset of my summer. The night bugs will provide a mournful chorus as I glance around my room and see my outfit all set out for the morning. Tonight is the last night that I can stay up until God knows when and then wake up late. The mellow drone of the bugs will lull me to sleep, and the next morning I will wake up to one of the carefully picked out songs bursting out of my iHome. I will then lie in bed for a full thirty minutes, wondering what awaits me when I enter that same old school building.