Sleepy Hollow(een)

Things are only a big deal if you make them into one. This applies to certain days, too. They’re only a big deal if you make them one. Kind of like today. Happy Halloween. Big whoop.

It was fun when we were little. My mom made our costumes (I don’t think she EVER bought one) and we went out to gather up pillowcase-loads of candy. We came back, turned our bags upside down to empty them of their contents and then sorted into piles based on the kind of candy. Trading ensued, but we never ever traded a Reese’s Peanut Butter Cup. That was part of our Unwritten Constitution (<-APUSH reference).

Seventh grade was the last time I went trick-or-treating. That was five years ago. Last year we ran around as our XC team, but that was in celebration of the team’s victory that day and we  only stopped at a few places along the way because we were on our way to our coach’s house to get candy out of him.

My brother, Trevor, went trick-or-treating up until his senior year in high school. At the time, it seemed like he was too old for it and I figured he must have been the only kid his age who went around with his friends. Now I’ve realized that a lot more do it than I thought. Everyone’s facebook statuses said something about going trick-or-treating, and that definitely surprised me. Trick-or-treating strikes me as something for kids in elementary or middle school; not high school. I’m not trying to be a stick in the mud or anything, I just feel that I’m too old to go parading around in a stupid costume just to get some candy off of people.

It sure is sad, though. That I feel too old to go trick-or-treating, I mean. I probably would have gone in ninth grade if I had not have had musical rehearsal that night (damn you, stupid musical). I opted not to go in eighth grade because I wasn’t allowed to go with friends and it seemed lame for me to go around with my dad.

I never wanted to grow up. I did, though.

Tonight I stayed in. My boyfriend came over and we carved pumpkins, passed out candy when my parents weren’t home (to our grand total of 9 trick-or-treaters) and then watched Sleepy Hollow with the ‘rents. We ate candy, listened to music, baked cookies and admired our pumpkins after the movie. It was fun. The only thing that made me feel festive was the Emily shirt I chose to wear that has a mummy cat on it. Other than that, it was just another day in the life. It was just another movie night with my boyfriend. It was just another fun time.

Holidays are only a big deal if you make them into one. Happy Halloween. Big whoop.

A DJ, a gym and some glow sticks

At 7:o0 yesterday morning, “Into The Ocean” by Blue October started bursting out of the speakers on my triangular iHome. I continually hit the “snooze” button until I could do so no longer. I gave up at 7:30 and dragged my sorry butt out of bed to face what would turn into an extremely long day.

This weekend was Homecoming weekend. The problem was, I hadn’t given Homecoming a single thought because I had a huge obstacle to get through first. Conveniently, we had a cross-country meet in the freezing cold wind and mud. And, my race was to be the last race of the day. We left at 8:30 in order to get there by 10:00, and I didn’t run until 2:30. All of this equals one long and cold day.

I ran well, and yes, hanging out with the team is always fun. I finally met the guy that has been taking pictures at meets (in which I sometimes appeared) for years, and coincidentally he is also one of my employers. I got to snuggle with five of my teammates to build up the warmth we so desperately sought and got to experience one crazy bus ride.

After my race, we [my family] left immediately. After a few stops along the way, we finally got home at 5:00, and my boyfriend was to be at the house at 6:30 to get some pictures taken beforehand.

The dance was fun. My only complaint was the complete lack of slow songs. He (one of my brother’s friends who played the DJ) must have wanted to keep up with the “rave” theme Student Council had whipped up, but he only played three slow songs and I, along with many others, was disappointed. The entire gym smelled like bare feet and glow stick fluid because people kept breaking open the complimentary glow sticks everyone wore around their necks. A friend of mine actually got squirted in the eye with one at the very beginning of the dance, and she commented that it was very painful.

Afterward, we headed up to a friend’s house to attempt an all-nighter. Everyone but my boyfriend, my friend and me fell asleep. At five o’clock, we decided to get back in the hot tub and didn’t end up surfacing from it until seven. And yes, we got very prune-y.

It was a fun night. I was happy that my boyfriend and I matched perfectly and it’s always a treat to see classmates all dolled up instead of just sauntering around in their pajamas or jeans during the average school day.

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It’s nice to have her back

I’m weird. That’s what I have learned over the past few days.

I had a few birthday parties to attend this past week (because it seems that everyone’s birthday falls on the SAME DAY). I had to celebrate my grandma’s for a few hours before attending the first one, so that’s what I did. We ate my mom’s special dessert, and I was itching to go, so I hopped on my bike and away I went. I arrived and they were watching a movie. And a really stupid one at that. I’m not a fan of stupid humor movies, so I obviously really didn’t like Airplane. I was also busy focusing on the boy behind me who was hugging me and running his hands through my hair. That can be distracting.

Because I’ve discovered just how much I love being all in my lonesome, I hate being around people. Even people I usually enjoy being around. I couldn’t wait to go home (well, of course, I stopped by my grandparents’ before going home).

The next day is when I found out how weird I am.

I went to another friend’s house (and was kind of dreading it because she doesn’t exactly invite all of the greatest people in the world), and was seriously like a little social butterfly. I went from group to group, just talking to everybody. I suddenly turned into my old outgoing self. I haven’t seen that part of me in quite awhile. It was nice to have her back. There was a specific group I hung out with (with didn’t include my boyfriend, oddly enough), and we even walked to my house to get my Pretty Pretty Princess board game we’d been itching to play. So, we did. In the dark of the trampoline. And swore at the game to make it more exciting.

After a summer of just wanting to be alone, feeling the urge to mingle and be around people was nice. I found a best friend in a girl I haven’t taken the time to talk to lately, and we’ve made plans to hang out all the time. I’m sorry I dreaded what turned out to be an awesome night.

Eight poems later…

All the rest have thirty-one…

Throughout this 2009 month of July, I:

  1. cried over something that happened to my lovely grandmother,
  2. cleaned my grandparents’ entire house,
  3. rolled coins with my boyfriend,
  4. listened to about 2,210 songs (about 71 tracks a day),
  5. attended Warped Tour for the first time and got to see my favorite band in concert again,
  6. returned to Darien Lake with my boyfriend and his family to ride rides and such,
  7. rode Superman at Darien Lake and loved it,
  8. listened to the song “Ignorance” by Paramore 28 times,
  9. laughed as my boyfriend told me about the 76 bug bites he had gotten while outside at my house,
  10. became a choo choo train with the conductor played by Miss “Taco,”
  11. got two stories published in our local newspaper,
  12. realized that if I save money I can have my Mac Book Pro by January,
  13. had two Orthodontist appointments,
  14. walked around Wal-Mart with my mother with a box of large sized condoms in our cart seeing if anyone would notice (and trying to keep a straight face),
  15. saw the new Harry Potter movie,
  16. snuck Jell-O into the movies,
  17. got home from the movies in 2 1/2 hours when it only should have taken 40 minutes,
  18. mimicked a bunch of chickens with my friend,
  19. dressed up like Ginny Weasley,
  20. got told a life story and a sad one at that,
  21. was shown where my daddy had gotten in a fatal car crash way back when (caused by a drunk driver),
  22. spent three hours down at the Fire Department and actually got to put on a uniform and oxygen tank (that was a real treat!),
  23. babysat a little golden retriever puppy,
  24. ate two chocolate bars in the course of one single day,
  25. listened to the song “One Day I Slowly Floated Away” by Eisley 25 times (and I’m still not done!),
  26. got angry about the crappy weather,
  27. swam only about four times (and we own a nice inground swimming pool),
  28. ate lunch at a place called Wienerville with one of my best friends,
  29. wrote a blog entry that caused quite a bit of controversy,
  30. wrote eight poems,
  31. and learned how to use all of my senses to really live.

Now, it’s the thirty-first of July. There’s only one more month of my summer left before I return to school as a junior in high school. [Weather Permitting] I’m going to make this month last as long as I can. I think Mother Nature’s trying to make up for all of the crappy days of July we’ve seen this year by making today a nice day and I’m going to go and embrace it. Maybe I’ll go for a dip in the pool and make it five times that I have entered it this July.

baby Grady
baby Grady

Dear old friends,

Yep, that’s what you are, old. You’re not the shiny new car with that new car smell. You’re the old rustmobile that needs several air fresheners to keep the air inside bearable to even breathe in. What’s my problem, exactly? The fact that you’re old. Now I’m ready for some shiny new friends that won’t be stupid like you.

When I kissed the last person I kissed, I was completely sober. Were you for yours? Do you even know who you kissed? Were you certain that it was a person of the gender opposite you? Do you know how completely stupid you probably act and sound when you have vile substances in your body? Probably not. So, why do you insist on continuing? Since you most likely do not have an answer that meets my high standards for any of these questions, I would like to say adieu to you.

I feel sorry for you. I’m sorry that you think you need alcohol in your body to have fun. I’m sorry that that has become the only way you can ever have any fun. I’m not planning on inviting you to anymore of my movie nights or anything I have with friends in the future. There won’t be any alcohol involved, so you probably won’t want to come anyway. I suppose I could slip some beer into the Jell-O to please you, but that’s not me. I’m sorry that that’s you.

I have morals. I’m not about to fuck myself over for life because I got drunk one night. One mistake is all it takes. I hope you have fun washing your beer-stained clothes the next morning and attempting to hide the fun you’re having from your parents. Sounds like a bitchin’ time. I’m sorry that I don’t feel right being a part of it. I’ll have fun drinking when I’m at or close to the right age. And when that time comes, I’m sure I’ll want something more sophisticated in my body. No beer for me. I don’t need to be drunk to have a fun time with my “friends.” Have fun at those parties in the future. I won’t be around to “enjoy” them with you. I’m choosing not to. And yeah, I may be a stick in the mud, but it’s because I know what I want. Maybe you should figure out what you want. The next time you’re wandering around drunk and stupid, I’ll be sober enjoying the company of a good book or my boyfriend. Sounds like a hell of a lot more fun than what you’re doing.

Sincerely,

Emily

The reason why my nose hurts

Wow. Warped Tour 2009? Awesome! I had my doubts, I’ll admit it, and now I can’t imagine why I ever had any. I saw some of the prettiest people I have ever seen, but I also saw some of the ugliest people I have ever seen in my life. There were people with gross piercings, girls all decked out in gothic clothing, girls with wayyy too much makeup on, lesbians (everywhere!), pimple-covered faces and people that barely had anything covered. I saw a bunch of girls that looked to be about twelve years old (and were probably even younger) that looked way too young to be in a place like that. They had no fear, though. Like most of the youth these days. They do what they want without respecting others. How annoying.

We got there and headed over to the blow-up thingy that had the stages, bands and times they were playing on it, and who should be playing on the stage near us whilst we were looking? Underøath! I saw Aaron, heard them announce “this next one is an oldie!”, realized it was “Its Dangerous Business Walking Out Your Front Door” and you’d better believe I ditched my people and squeezed through the crowd until I could see (even though I still couldn’t really see). The drowning in my sleep part melted me.

101_0138We got our times and started walking around. We waited at the Rock Band tent for Escape the Fate to show up and start judging the “bands” that were playing the video game. When they arrived (accompanied by several squeals issued by moi), and sat down RIGHT IN FRONT OF ME (I was in the front right up against the “CAUTION” tape) I started snapping pictures left and right. Robert turned around and waved, and yes, I got a picture of it. I only wish I could have had my camera out for when he turned around again and flicked everyone off. That was awesome.101_0150

We hurried off to watch Chiodos after that. I surprised myself by knowing most of the words to their songs (much like I did back in November). We left that stage to go see Scary Kids Scaring Kids at the Hurley stage. I was so looking forward to seeing them, but that quickly melted away. I realized that I did not know ANY of the words. I knew the beat and the guitar parts and stuff, but because I barely ever understood what the singer was singing, I couldn’t sing along. They played “My 101_0158Darkest Hour” (my favorite song by them) but it wasn’t as great as I thought it would be. Kind of disappointing, but the crowd wasn’t all that into it either, so that was part of the problem. There really wasn’t much crowdsurfing during their set.

Madina Lake had the most energy out of anybody. 101_0164A big hairy guy almost ruined it for me, but my boyfriend and I scrambled around until we were as far away from him as we could get. I have not taken the time to listen to them in a long time, but every word to every song came back to me as soon as the music started playing. They opened with “Adalia,” played “House Of Cards,” mixed in some new stuff (which sadly I did not know) and ended with “True Love.” After being disappointed by Scary Kids Scaring Kids, Madina Lake provided the perfect pick-me-up.

101_0191Then, after being crushed in like sardines for A Day To Remember, I made my boyfriend and friend get up so we could get in the front101_0196 for Escape the Fate’s performance (FINALLY!). Once again, they opened with “The Flood.” They had enough energy, but not as much as Madina Lake. But I love Craig, Monte, Max and Robert anyway. Monte looked like a happy little Asian kid (his hair was lovely), Robert looked like Slash (like he normally does), I saw more of Max this time since I was on the side of the stage where he normally resides, so that was great, and Craig was his usual crazy fun-loving self. They performed “Situations,” surprised me with their performance of “Ashley,” played “You Are So Beautiful,”  rounded out the set with “10 Miles Wide” and ended with “This War Is Ours (The Guillotine II).” During one of the songs (I can’t recall which one) someone crowdsurfed and kicked me in the nose. It was awesome, but that’s why my nose is killing me right now. Before “10 Miles Wide” Craig said “now, I want to see every girl on top of some guy’s shoulders! Look at the guy in front of you, ladies, and hop on!”  Some guy turned around and looked at me, but I looked to my boyfriend who was standing behind me 101_0197with his arms around me and motioned for him to get down so I could mount his shoulders. I hopped on, got a GREAT view of the stage, and danced on his shoulders to the song whilst singing along. Craig jumped into the crowd and sang with a girl who was on someone’s shoulders, and boy, was I jealous! But, it was still awesome. I got down after that song, and my boyfriend pulled me out of the way before we were pushed into the Wall of Death.

Afterward I couldn’t stop raving about Escape the Fate’s performance. It was so much better than it had been back in November at Town Ballroom. My boyfriend wanted to watch Breathe Carolina, so we did (yuck!), but all I was thinking about was Escape the Fate. 101_0183

We left after Breathe Carolina, and wandered around the parking lot looking for his mom’s car. Then we hopped in and left. It was definitely a fun time. I can’t wait to see Escape the Fate for the third time. I promised my boyfriend that I would crowdsurf at that one. I’m little enough. 100_0364

Thirteen poems later…

Thirty days hath September, April, June and November…

Throughout this 2009 month of June I:

  1. wrote thirteen poems,
  2. apparently listened to 398 songs from iTunes while sitting at my computer (and I’m still adding onto that number),
  3. learned that some people believe that the black bits in a banana are tarantula eggs,
  4. watched Charlie’s Angels with a friend – and laughed at all of the horrible special effects,
  5. ran the fastest 1500 I have ever run and reset my school record (4:54),
  6. helped reset our school record once again in the 4X800 (split time: 2:24),
  7. volunteered for a youth track program,
  8. met a little girl who coined herself the name “Taco,”
  9. read the first-ever Emily the Strange novel,
  10. got writing advice from the co-author of that first Emily novel,
  11. laughed my ass off over a cooler that had a sign labeled “MILK,”
  12. watched my youngest older brother graduate from high school,
  13. ate several giant strawberry flavored marshmallows,
  14. finished my sophomore year of high school,
  15. took three grueling NYS Regents exams,
  16. received my last report card for this school year and was surprised by the grade I earned without even trying,
  17. did enough laundry to last me a lifetime,
  18. found my Pretty Pretty Princess game which I had not been able to locate for the longest time,
  19. found tears rolling down my cheeks after the announcement one of my favorite teachers had to give,
  20. conducted several angry rants in my head toward certain people,
  21. petted little golden retriever puppies, one after the other,
  22. wore pretty pink heels with chains,
  23. created my very first portfolio in hopes of securing another writing job,
  24. shared many secrets with one of my very best friends,
  25. revisited The Waterfall with my boyfriend, and got pushed into the steady stream of cold water,
  26. pretended to be Chinese/Japanese ping pong players with my friend and my brother’s friend,
  27. got one of my favorite songs RUINED by a couple of my friends who went to college and suddenly discovered the hidden meaning of it,
  28. learned that people down in central Pennsylvania often slip and say “let’s go hale some bay!”,
  29. strapped parachutes onto little kids and watched them run around and
  30. lived and breathed during every single one of these.

So, I guess this is goodbye, June. You and May are my two most favorite months of the year, and both of you are over already. Thanks for the rain, the sun, the wind and the thunder and lightning. I’ll see you next year; the last June before the June of my high school graduation. What a scary thought.

For(n)ever

The word “forever.” What an overused word. Nobody knows the concept of forever. Nobody knows where forever is or how long forever is going to take. “This is going to take forever!” Yeah, doubt it. What a stupid hyperbole.

I can sort of understand if two people believe that they are going to be together “forever” if they are united in holy matrimony, but Divorce can still but its ugly head in there and Devour that useless forever. Forever is a hard word to comprehend, so why do people use it so often? Nobody knows the true meaning!

Teenagers are stupid. When it comes to relationships, they overuse this silly seven-letter word. (Yes, I am a teenager. I, however, am not stupid.) If someone can break your heart once, chances are they are capable of doing it again. Surely it would be a mistake to assume that the second time around is going to “last forever!” That’s just setting yourself up for heartbreak. Once that “forever” isn’t met, someone is left heartbroken. Assumptions lead to disappointment. Your aunt and uncle may have been high school sweethearts, but times have changed. There are far more fish in the sea.

I’m not dissing high school relationships. I’m dissing the stupid kids that think that they have found “the one” when their “significant other” is the only one they have ever met or fallen in “love” with. How do you know a person is The One when they have been the only one? I am a practical person. I care for my boyfriend with all of my heart, but I know not to assume that in ten years I’ll still be with him. I’m in high school. In two years, I’ll be facing my last summer as a real kid. In two years, no matter where he and I are in our relationship, we will most likely part ways. Until that time comes, I’m going to spend all of my free time with him; my best friend and my boyfriend. I can’t expect a “forever.”

I don’t know everything about everything, I’m just tired of people that seem to think that they do. I’m tired of people that talk about this concept of forever like they’re experts. None of us are; none of us ever will be. You can’t expect a “forever” when nobody even knows what this “forever” is.