My new golden heart

I have wanted a locket of my own ever since I saw my grandmother’s (which is home to a picture of my grandfather in his military uniform, if I recall correctly). My mom also owns one that my daddy gave her. It seems like every woman who has a loving significant other owns at least one locket. Well, I wanted to be that woman who has a loving significant other. Turns out I became one.

I got Robby a winter jacket for Christmas (which I have been wanting to write on this blog for weeks!). On top of that, I (with my mom’s help) made him a fleece Yankee blanket to keep him warm – sense the theme going on here? A winter jacket sounds like a weird gift, you might be thinking. But, you’d have to know Robby to understand. He is someone who wore two hoodies and a hat hoping they could replace the warmth a winter coat could provide. I was sick of seeing him cold, so I bought him the nice coat you’ll see him wearing from now on (since he loves it so much).

I opened my gift from him and found a delicate, gray pouch. When I opened it carefully, a beautiful gold locket made its way into my eyesight. My jaw dropped. The front of the heart locket says “I Love You” and has a fancy flower design. I could not believe that he remembered that I wanted one badly since I didn’t really remember mentioning my longing for one very often. I opened it and found that it was empty, but then was happy thinking that he could help me choose the pictures to go inside of it. And boy, were there plenty of pictures to choose from. The next package I unwrapped was just as special: a beautiful oak jewelry box where I can keep the locket safe from harm. Just tonight, before the clock struck midnight and brought 2011, we picked and filled the locket with two very special pictures.

“Let’s see if you can keep that for sixty years like your grandma has,” said Papa after I showed the locket to him on Christmas Day.

“I plan to,” I said with a determined smile (at least, I hope it looked like I was determined)!

The pictures I have placed inside of the heart-shape will remain forever. I don’t plan on ever removing them from their new home.

The next day, mom told me that for my dad’s and her first Christmas together, he got her a gold locket (the one I mentioned earlier) and a jewelry box to keep it in. What a wonderful coincidence.

Love, to a middle school student (and some high schoolers)

He asks her out via phone call (but it’s more likely that it was just a text). She says yes. She takes a quick break to open up Internet Explorer or Mozilla Firefox, types in “www.facebook.com” and types in her email address (which she only has so that she can take part in social networking sites). She types in her password (the name of her teddy bear) and then clicks on her profile. She takes a minute to look at her Music interests (Justin Bieber, Justin Bieber, and OMG JUSTIN BIEBER) and then clicks “Edit”. Suddenly, she’s in a beautiful relationship with that boy that just asked “will you go out with me”? Sometimes they’re even “married” or “engaged” depending on who it is.

She waits a couple of minutes to see if any of her online friends will noticed her changed relationship status. Soon, her fellow 10-year-olds are busy saying “congradulashiens!” and “im sooooo happy 4 u 2!” and “awwwww u 2 r so cuteeeee!” Everyone is just so happy that they’re finally together.

In the hallways, they walk hand-in-hand, staring straight ahead. They don’t even look at each other and their arms are stiffly at their sides with just their hands clasped. Soon she breathes a sigh of relief as her friend comes up behind her and walks in step with them. She giggles and talks to her and ignores the boy to her left.

They get to her classroom, and he drops her hand. smiles at her and walks away.

The next day is a big one for our little lovebirds. It’s the first time ever in the history of their 2-day relationship that he’s dropped the bomb containing three little words: “I,” “Love,” and “You”. She shifts awkwardly from one foot to the other and looks him in his eyes (or tries to, anyway, his extremely long and greasy hair covers up his eyes pretty well) and says it back to him. “I love you, too,” she says. He kisses her on the cheek quickly and then walks away to make it to his English class before the bell rings.

That night, she changes her relationship status to “married” and receives more “congradulashiens!” comments upon changing it.

The next day at school, she snaps a picture of them with her camera phone (her parents finally let her get rid of her Tracfone!) and then can’t wait to get home so she can upload it on her computer and then edit it to make it say something cool in pink writing on the picture. Something like “I love you” or “E + R 4Ever”; she can’t quite decide. When she gets home, she changes her profile picture (her other one had been of she and her best friend sticking their cute little tongues out at the camera) and the “congradulashiens!” comments start up all over again.

The next day, he sends her a text that says: “u no i luv u babe, but this relashunship is ovr 4 me.”

She breaks down and cries in the bathroom and her fellow makeup-plastered friends comfort her. One of them explains to a teacher what happened. The nice lady teacher understands and lets them stay in the bathroom while she cries and smears her mascara.

Yep, sounds like love to me.

The butterflies have risen!

You know how you have to be in one of those moods to really appreciate artists like Marilyn Manson, Eyes Set to Kill and Every Time I Die? Well, I’m in one of those moods. I had Persephone going on shuffle, and she was doing pretty good until an ETID song came on, and I realized that I am in the mood for them today. I don’t know why; it’s not like I’m cranky or anything at the moment, now just seems like to right time to listen to something that is so beautifully screamy. I just can’t describe it.

I’m feeling pretty damn good, actually. The butterflies are alive again within me (you’d have to be a regular reader of my poetry to understand that reference, and I am the only one that fits in that department) and they flitter and flutter every once in awhile to remind me that they’ve been released from their cocoons once more.

So, there’s this guy. Well, actually, there are several guys at the moment, but whatever. He doesn’t even go to our school (and plus I know the ones from G-Town could never click with me…and the one that actually could has a girlfriend, even though he agrees with me on that subject), and yet for some reason I have a good idea about him. See, I’ve known him practically my whole life. The last time I saw him, he was shorter than me and kind of geeky. Okay, really geeky. We just didn’t mesh. Now, we received a Christmas card from them, and I couldn’t take my eyes off of him. I don’t really know if he’s my type, but I’m willing to find out. He’s tall, not anorexic-esque skinny, but nicely shaped and he plays hockey. Yeah, the hockey thing is what won me over. I like a guy who can play a real manly sport (that ISN’T football).

I told myself yesterday that if he came online in the facebook chat thing, I would say hello. Well, he came online. My heart started beating faster, but I didn’t do anything. Instead, I just kept clicking “Home” to distract myself with the posting of meaningless statuses by my other “friends.” I think that if we were to start hanging out, that’d be pretty cool, regardless of the driving distance between us. It’s only, like, an hour, so so what? Once I get my license I’ll be able to make that commute.

But, I’m not promising anything with anyone. I noticed several different guys making eye contact with me at the dance (will post pictures later, I promise!) and I became attached to one and realized that I wouldn’t mind hanging out with him, too. I don’t want to date anyone, I just want to go on dates and see how it is. Kiss a few guys, take in a few movies, hold a couple different pairs of hands; that’s all I want. I’m back to the “he likes me, he likes me not” thing again, and I am thoroughly enjoying it. This time, I’m not going to sit around and wait for something to happen (with the one exception yesterday!); I’m going to do something about it if I want someone that bad. I’m going to drop hints and be flirty and cute in a subtle way and play hard-to-get. This is what’s fun about being a teenager; fun that I’ve been missing out on for years because I was always stuck solely on one person.

Well, watch out. Have you ever felt that pitter patter of your heart when you see someone walk down the hallway? I have, and it’s not focused on just one person anymore.

Susan Boyle: an inspiration

My mother got on the computer, went straight to youtube, and pulled up a video from a show called Britain’s Got Talent. “This is their version of American Idol – and you just have to see this,” she told me.

She clicked on the arrow to play the video, and it began. The first second of the video began something that was to go on for seven minutes and thirty-four seconds more, and I watched in awe as this woman performed. She confessed that she’d never been kissed, had on a frumpy little dress, her name tag wasn’t even on her dress (it was stuck to her chest), and her hair needed some brushing. I instantly fell in love with her appearance and attitude.

The audience angered me in the beginning. They heckled, laughed, and their expressions openly admitted their opinions of her. I could instantly hear their thoughts in my head. Susan didn’t seem to care; I’m sure living with this humiliation for 47 years has made her strong. She didn’t back down, she didn’t shake with nervousness when she sang…overall she seemed so confident, and I wish I could have been there to witness this amazing performance. When she opened her mouth to sing, I swear that you must have been able to hear a pin drop in the audience. Her voice was so powerful, and that definitely hushed up the people that had been heckling her only moments before. They stereotyped her, and they were proven wrong. Don’t judge a book by its cover.

This woman, this one frumpy-looking woman poses as such an inspiration. It’s hard living in this particular time period. Growing girls are told what is “beautiful” by pictures they see in magazines and on television. Supposedly, if you’re not beautiful, no man will ever love you, and you will not get anywhere in life. Susan Boyle is the perfect example of the opposite of this. Maybe she’s not the most attractive woman on the planet, but her soul, her attitude, her voice… all are beautiful. I think that maybe the people of the world needed to realize this.

Thank you, Susan, for providing a different example for girls to look up to. You proved everyone wrong as soon as you opened your mouth and that beautiful music escaped. You’re going to go far, and now the many people who are inspired by you will as well.

After seven minutes and thirty-five seconds, my mom looked up to me and smiled. I rubbed my arms to rid them of the goosebumps that had risen, and tried to hold back a few tears. “I told you,” she said with a grin.

Meeting him

One of my very good friends and I attended a concert at Town Ballroom in Buffalo about a month ago consisting of A Skylit Drive, Alesana, Escape the Fate, Silverstein, and Chiodos. His brother drove us, and I would not have been able to go if Escape the Fate had not been going. He knew that ETF is my favorite band, and so I tagged along. (I never got around to writing about it until now – now the shock has worn off.)

After a very interesting trip to the mall (read older post), we were on our way. At the door, the big dude dressed all in black asked: “over or under 21?” I wasn’t thinking clearly and did not know what he was saying, so I replied with a stupid-sounding “huh?!?!?” and then I realized what he was asking right when he was repeating himself. “Oh…under!!!” I said. Christian only laughed at me.

Inside, we stood around for awhile before actually entering the performance room. We waited and waited and waited while A Skylit Drive got all of their equipment set up, and then they performed. I recognized a few songs that they played, but they are not my favorite so I definitely did not know them all. Christian did not know any, and nor did his brother.

After them, Alesana. I had heard a few songs by them in the past, and I did not exactly like them, but their freakish screaming woke me up and got me ready to listen to the best band of all: Escape the Fate.

While ETF was setting up, I was hyperventilating with excitement. I don’t think Christian is human because he did not seem very excited at all. Course, he’d been to concerts before whereas I had not.

They jumped onto the stage. Instantly girly screams of “whoooo!!!” escaped my mouth, but I did not care. My camera was out shooting pictures left and right and all over the place. The first song they performed “The Flood” was absolutely amazing. Craig is the best replacement of Ronnie that they could have ever asked for. Bryan’s guitar was phenomenal, Max was looking fine in bright red sneakers, and his voice sounded great next to Craig’s.

When their performance was over, I looked at my camera and realized that I had taken almost 100 pictures, and over ten videos. Next came Silverstein, and they calmed me down quite a bit. I hung back with Christian and his brother because neither of them knew the songs, even though I did. I recorded their whole performance of “My Heroine” and love watching it now whenever I get the chance.

After Silverstein was done and before Chiodos came on was the highlight of my whole night. We went out into the main room to buy some of the merchandise that was for sale, and I bought another ETF tee to join the one I already have (which Christian bought me, coincidentally). I bought a two dollar bottle of water, and we stood around, just people watching. Derek, Christian’s brother turned to us and said “isn’t that the lead singer of Escape the Fate standing right next to me?!?”

I started hyperventilating all over again. “OH MY GOD IT IS!!!!”

“Why don’t you go talk to him?” He said.

With that, I took off and tapped on Craig’s shoulder. “You guys were amazing! I took so many pictures and videos of you guys!!!” He said, “c’mere” and gave me a hug! Just as he let me go, I remembered my camera. “Christian!!! BRING MY CAMERA OVER HERE! Can I get a picture taken with you?!?!?!”

He replied, “sure!”

Now I have a picture of Craig making a face as if I am famous and he is meeting me for the first time. What a joker he is. Then Christian asked “wait, can I have one too?” and then I took the picture for him (and added the flash, I might say).

I will never EVER forget that for my entire life. I met the lead singer of my favorite band! Sure, he’s no Ronnie, but I think that I love Craig even more.

I have now been to a beach

For the past few years, I have been complaining about how I have never been to the beach. Friends have promised to take me, but, alas, their promises were not kept. I remained a beach virgin. Until today.

We had a cross-country meet today at a State Park near the lake. I swore that I would go swimming in the Lake after my race, and I did. We finished the girls Varsity race (third place for me…we went against an awesome team) and my two friends and I headed down to the lake. We did not end up swimming. We touched the water, took a few pictures, then fled to watch the “men” in their race. (THEY WON!)

After their race, my brother wanted to go swimming. My friend Ashley and I were all for it, and we began walking back towards the lake with the new guy. Soon we were joined by half of the boy’s team, and we ran to the beach. I took off my warm-up pants (my best friend’s PJs, hehe – I borrowed them from him and never gave them back), and ran to the shore. Yeah, it was cold, and today wasn’t the hottest September day we’ve had. I looked behind me and saw half of the boy’s team running towards me in just their spandex. Haha, hello!

We all ran into the water, and jumped over the waves as they came. New guy even joined in and wore his boxers (he didn’t run today – not enough practices). Soon, Ashley and I realized that our shorts were see-through, so we waded deeper and deeper into the water in an attempt to hide ourselves.

It was the most fun I have ever had at a cross-country meet (and I have been to quite a few in my lifetime). Cute guys in spandex in freezing water with waves that reached my shoulders…yeah, FUN! I will probably be sick tomorrow, and if I am, I will just remember how much laughter our little adventure brought me. Today was a day I will not soon forget.