A haven for the go, go, goer

But, wait –– didn’t I just write this post?

With one more exam to go, I’m sitting on the edge of my sophomore year. Tomorrow, Dad comes and hauls all of my belongings away, leaving me to brave senior week with my friends. I’m not sad that the year’s over, I’m merely shocked at the speed with which it came and went.

My dorm room shows a year of use. Picture collage on the wall, inspiring quotations to help me get out of bed in the morning, the clutter of a college student who is always go, go, going.

I spent the first weekend here bedridden and unable to stand up after a cross country meet literally knocked me over. From there, I chose to be bedridden on the weekends, placing an empty garbage can beside my bed should I feel, erm, nauseous in the morning.

I opened my door on my birthday to find cards on the floor and the walls practically covered with sticky notes, most of them containing messages of love from Robby. Those have since been peeled off the walls, but it’s something I’ll never forget. The women’s cross country team serenaded me that night and couldn’t wait to see all of the clothes my mother and I had purchased while on our weekend escapade to Erie for birthday clothes shopping. I just recently took down the “HAPPY BIRTHDAY!” banner Robby had hung from the ceiling; it remained an essential part of this room for nearly two semesters.

I’ve cried in this room, stressed in this room and felt the touch of friends in this room. It’s a white box painted with my memories and experiences. Because it is such a cozy little nook, I can’t help but feel extreme comfort every time I cross the threshold. After my intense set of summer internship interviews, I returned to campus, entered my room and promptly curled up in the fetal position on my bed.

I’ve spent the entirety of this semester exhausted, mentally, physically and emotionally. It took months for me to feel like myself walking around campus following the break up and my resignation from the cross country team. I could feel my former teammates’ stares as I went about living my life and knew my decision left them with a hot topic to discuss (not to mention the rumors they started). It took new friendships and relationships to help me get back on my feet.

At the store I worked in off campus all semester, I met some of the nicest people. I expanded my network, put myself out there and saw outgoing Emily show her face more often than she had in months. I worked over 20 hours a week, did my homework and still found time to hang out with friends, new and old. The weekends brought time for Emily to finally relax, though she often woke up with an empty garbage can beside her bed, just in case.

This year hasn’t been easy, but this room has always felt like a safe haven to me. I’m sad to let it go, even though I’m onto bigger and better things. Next year I’ll just have to spice up my room again to make it cozy. The best part about next year is the friends I’ll be living with whom I will be able to call my home.

Same s***, different year

I’m finding it hard to pinpoint how I feel.

This morning I cried as I packed up my belongings. I left tear stains on Robby’s tee shirt.


Still, as Bubbles cruised down those oh-so-familiar country roads, my feelings changed. I know this! I know where we’re going! my conscience screamed.

And now I’m here. Sitting under my same sheets, different bed. Same stuff, different room. Same me, different me…?

I have reached an age where I can clearly remember four years ago. My sophomore year of high school. I wore my fishnet-print skirt (…and I still wear it…four years later…), teal tank top, teal footless tights and my Emily The Strange flip flops for the first day of school.

See? Crystal clear.

Now I’m going to be a sophomore in college. Holy shit. A sophomore in college. It may not sound like that significant of a feat, but this blogger is the youngest of four children and the only girl in the bunch. Jordan, Trevor and Adam have already done this. They’ve come and gone. It seems crazy to me that it’s my turn. I helped all three of them move into their different rooms/houses/apartments year after year. Being a sophomore in college sounded so old and sophisticated to me.

Guess I’m in their shoes now. I just thought it would take me longer to fill them.

Love/hate relationship with Facebook

At this point, it seems like nearly everybody has a Facebook. Is it a mandatory part of life now? Kids are popped out and their photos are then posted onto the parents’ Facebook page. They’re already getting an early start to their inevitable life of wasting time on Facebook.

Don’t get me wrong, I think Facebook is a good idea. It sure beats MySpace (who uses that anymore?), but the teenagers have invaded. When I joined Facebook during my sophomore year of high school (even though my mom was angry about it), barely any of my classmates were on the site yet. They were still fierce MySpacers updating their statuses and changing their pictures every five minutes, not to mention posting another bulletin quiz thing for all to see. Blech.

Anyway, it’s a good idea for older people. My mom has had the opportunity to reconnect with people she has not seen in years. But us teenagers? We’ve invaded it and made it into another MySpace. We’ve invaded with our inability to type without using ch4t$p3@k and have made it a sucky place full of drama (I’m one of the exceptions).

I mentioned arguments over Facebook between two people (dubbed Facebook Battles in my Facebook neighborhood) to my mom, and she laughed. For her, Facebook is a nice way to check out pictures of babies she’s never met and family photos of our long-lost family on her side. For us, it’s a big competition. The profile pictures have to be edited with the brightness and contrast levels changed. Along the bottom or the side or the top, there is some type of writing (usually the person’s name or something equally as stupid) and in the picture, the person’s tongue is sticking out (if you’re a girl) and their shirt is lifted up to show off their “six pack” (if you’re a guy). Stupid.

What is getting super annoying on my Facebook is the status update that states what the person is up to and then ends in something concerning a cell phone. Example (name is made up, obviously):

Candy Land shower. bed. fair tomorrow with alex then black eyed peas concert. text it up.”

Or “texts are nice”

or “texts are wonderful”

or “texts!”.

Quite frankly, I’m happier when my cell phone isn’t vibrating like crazy. I like having it so that I always have the ability to get a hold of somebody should I need to, but texting more than two people at once is too much for me to handle. Especially when I’m trying to do something.

Next, I DON’T CARE about what you and the wonderful or amazing or incredible @Candy Land thought of the Black Eyed Peas concert. Tagging people in a status update is cool, but not when people overuse it and insert annoying adjectives.

Also, the people that update their statuses with a song everyone knows is annoying because it’s like they expect no one to know it. And then the people that write “good song” beneath it just to let everyone know that they know the song. Yeah, congratufuckinglations. Want a cookie?

What’s with people requesting to be my friend when I barely know them?!?!?!? If I don’t talk to you in real life, I sure as hell am not going to wish you a “Happy Birthday!” on your Facebook wall. If I wouldn’t say it to you in person, I don’t say it on Facebook. It’s as simple as that. Also, the fact that little girls/boys in middle school and even younger have Facebooks is aggravating. Didn’t you read earlier when I wrote that my mom was angry when I got my Facebook during my sophomore year? I was fifteen years old! Some of these kids are ten and even younger. Little kids do not need a Facebook or Twitter account. That’s just ridiculous and I blame their parents.

What I really getting to this whole time I’ve been typing away is the whole chat option on Facebook. I am permanent “offline” after learning the hard way. It’s a pain when someone pops up to chat with you when you’re just taking a second to check your Facebook. Then, you end up staying online a lot longer than you planned. It’s annoying. Especially during the school year. I see you at school and now I’m home so I can be away from you. Leave me alone. Also, if people take too long to reply on the chat thing, I ‘x’ them out and log off. I don’t wait around for people. The other day, out of curiosity I switched it to “online” just to see who was on. Then, someone popped up right away saying “heyyyy.” Yeah, no. I’m done doing that. That’s just annoying.

The other day, I deleted over twenty people from my friends list because I realized they really do not need to have access to my page (if you’re not my friend, you can’t see anything – not even my profile picture). I also have blocked people that I don’t care to see status updates from. I can still see their pages, but I don’t have to read their annoying updates.

For me, my relationship with Facebook is a love/hate one. I like staying in touch with people I don’t see over the summer, but sometimes it’s nice to get away.

Thirteen poems later…

Thirty days hath September, April, June and November…

Throughout this 2009 month of June I:

  1. wrote thirteen poems,
  2. apparently listened to 398 songs from iTunes while sitting at my computer (and I’m still adding onto that number),
  3. learned that some people believe that the black bits in a banana are tarantula eggs,
  4. watched Charlie’s Angels with a friend – and laughed at all of the horrible special effects,
  5. ran the fastest 1500 I have ever run and reset my school record (4:54),
  6. helped reset our school record once again in the 4X800 (split time: 2:24),
  7. volunteered for a youth track program,
  8. met a little girl who coined herself the name “Taco,”
  9. read the first-ever Emily the Strange novel,
  10. got writing advice from the co-author of that first Emily novel,
  11. laughed my ass off over a cooler that had a sign labeled “MILK,”
  12. watched my youngest older brother graduate from high school,
  13. ate several giant strawberry flavored marshmallows,
  14. finished my sophomore year of high school,
  15. took three grueling NYS Regents exams,
  16. received my last report card for this school year and was surprised by the grade I earned without even trying,
  17. did enough laundry to last me a lifetime,
  18. found my Pretty Pretty Princess game which I had not been able to locate for the longest time,
  19. found tears rolling down my cheeks after the announcement one of my favorite teachers had to give,
  20. conducted several angry rants in my head toward certain people,
  21. petted little golden retriever puppies, one after the other,
  22. wore pretty pink heels with chains,
  23. created my very first portfolio in hopes of securing another writing job,
  24. shared many secrets with one of my very best friends,
  25. revisited The Waterfall with my boyfriend, and got pushed into the steady stream of cold water,
  26. pretended to be Chinese/Japanese ping pong players with my friend and my brother’s friend,
  27. got one of my favorite songs RUINED by a couple of my friends who went to college and suddenly discovered the hidden meaning of it,
  28. learned that people down in central Pennsylvania often slip and say “let’s go hale some bay!”,
  29. strapped parachutes onto little kids and watched them run around and
  30. lived and breathed during every single one of these.

So, I guess this is goodbye, June. You and May are my two most favorite months of the year, and both of you are over already. Thanks for the rain, the sun, the wind and the thunder and lightning. I’ll see you next year; the last June before the June of my high school graduation. What a scary thought.