Blog posts and birthdays

When I turned 13, I got my room redone. We covered the ugly mauve walls with bright raspberry, periwinkle, lime green and orange. I had my first boy-girl party that year. My crush came. He gave me AFI’s Decemberunderground CDNothing happened.

When I turned 14, I got my first iPod, a square, silver Nano that I promptly named “Pandora.” I wish I could access my mom’s computer right now to upload those pictures. My hair was long and curly. My crush-turned-boyfriend gave me a beautiful little heart necklace. If I remember correctly. Maybe that was Christmas…

When I turned 15, my mom made homemade pizza and wings, but didn’t think to thaw out the wings before putting them in the deep fryer. It overflowed, spilling oil all over the floor. Grandma and Papa came over with cleaning supplies to save our ship. With my brand-new camera (an orange Kodak EasyShare point-and-shoot), I took a “selfie” of my Papa and me. I have pizza sauce in the corners of my mouth.

When I turned 16, my dad couldn’t find my birth certificate. We rushed out to the DMV after he found it, but they had already stopped offering driver’s permit tests for the day. I pouted. And I couldn’t eat cake because I had the most important cross-country meet of the season (Sectionals) the next day. I made it to the state championship meet. Then I bought myself another iPod with my birthday money.

When I turned 17, I ran at Sectionals and qualified for the state championship meet again. Robby and his mom both gave me iPods. (I know…) And, to my mother’s dismay, I told our waitress at Red Robin it was my birthday and the wait staff gathered around our table and sang. My mom sat with her head in her hands.

When I turned 18, Robby gave me a diamond promise ring. I haven’t worn it in almost a year.

When I turned 19, Mom and I went on a shopping spree and Robby gave me diamond earrings. The cross-country girls sang to me at my door when I returned to school.

When I turned 20, my parents and brothers gave me my grandparents. I cried.

I love my family so much.

They’re all I need.

There they are.
There they are.

Keep it “PG”

mary-ellen-mark-05
One of my favorites by Mary Ellen Mark.

This photo. It’s like photography’s version of my favorite poem.

I can’t even…

We looked at more photographers and more photos, but I returned to this one in my Google search every time.

I think it’s the innocence.

“They’re so young!” My classmate said, “And I don’t like that she’s topless.”

They’re not all that young. They look to be maybe 15-18. Think about it. When’s the first time you saw someone of the opposite sex naked?

I don’t think this photo would have the same effect for me if she had a bikini top on. Look at the curve of her back and its sharp, shadowed contrast to the sand on the ground. How that curve leads to her hips. The strip of white skin that cuts across, creating a tan line that leads to her breast.

And her facial expression is so intense. Why is she looking at the camera? And is he crying? I can’t quite tell. But it’s beautiful. And I especially love that she stands behind him holding him. Doesn’t society pound into our heads that it should be the other way around? But it doesn’t have to be. Men can show weaknesses, too. Men need to be held sometimes.

Women are allowed to be topless.

Teenagers are allowed to explore each other.

And the figure in the distance isn’t running toward them, screaming to keep it “PG.”

It’s so peaceful.

I printed it out and framed it. It currently sits in my room atop my record player. It’s just another reminder that some things may seem obscene to some people –– like the poem by c.b. trail –– but that doesn’t mean they can’t also be beautiful.

Love/hate relationship with Facebook

At this point, it seems like nearly everybody has a Facebook. Is it a mandatory part of life now? Kids are popped out and their photos are then posted onto the parents’ Facebook page. They’re already getting an early start to their inevitable life of wasting time on Facebook.

Don’t get me wrong, I think Facebook is a good idea. It sure beats MySpace (who uses that anymore?), but the teenagers have invaded. When I joined Facebook during my sophomore year of high school (even though my mom was angry about it), barely any of my classmates were on the site yet. They were still fierce MySpacers updating their statuses and changing their pictures every five minutes, not to mention posting another bulletin quiz thing for all to see. Blech.

Anyway, it’s a good idea for older people. My mom has had the opportunity to reconnect with people she has not seen in years. But us teenagers? We’ve invaded it and made it into another MySpace. We’ve invaded with our inability to type without using ch4t$p3@k and have made it a sucky place full of drama (I’m one of the exceptions).

I mentioned arguments over Facebook between two people (dubbed Facebook Battles in my Facebook neighborhood) to my mom, and she laughed. For her, Facebook is a nice way to check out pictures of babies she’s never met and family photos of our long-lost family on her side. For us, it’s a big competition. The profile pictures have to be edited with the brightness and contrast levels changed. Along the bottom or the side or the top, there is some type of writing (usually the person’s name or something equally as stupid) and in the picture, the person’s tongue is sticking out (if you’re a girl) and their shirt is lifted up to show off their “six pack” (if you’re a guy). Stupid.

What is getting super annoying on my Facebook is the status update that states what the person is up to and then ends in something concerning a cell phone. Example (name is made up, obviously):

Candy Land shower. bed. fair tomorrow with alex then black eyed peas concert. text it up.”

Or “texts are nice”

or “texts are wonderful”

or “texts!”.

Quite frankly, I’m happier when my cell phone isn’t vibrating like crazy. I like having it so that I always have the ability to get a hold of somebody should I need to, but texting more than two people at once is too much for me to handle. Especially when I’m trying to do something.

Next, I DON’T CARE about what you and the wonderful or amazing or incredible @Candy Land thought of the Black Eyed Peas concert. Tagging people in a status update is cool, but not when people overuse it and insert annoying adjectives.

Also, the people that update their statuses with a song everyone knows is annoying because it’s like they expect no one to know it. And then the people that write “good song” beneath it just to let everyone know that they know the song. Yeah, congratufuckinglations. Want a cookie?

What’s with people requesting to be my friend when I barely know them?!?!?!? If I don’t talk to you in real life, I sure as hell am not going to wish you a “Happy Birthday!” on your Facebook wall. If I wouldn’t say it to you in person, I don’t say it on Facebook. It’s as simple as that. Also, the fact that little girls/boys in middle school and even younger have Facebooks is aggravating. Didn’t you read earlier when I wrote that my mom was angry when I got my Facebook during my sophomore year? I was fifteen years old! Some of these kids are ten and even younger. Little kids do not need a Facebook or Twitter account. That’s just ridiculous and I blame their parents.

What I really getting to this whole time I’ve been typing away is the whole chat option on Facebook. I am permanent “offline” after learning the hard way. It’s a pain when someone pops up to chat with you when you’re just taking a second to check your Facebook. Then, you end up staying online a lot longer than you planned. It’s annoying. Especially during the school year. I see you at school and now I’m home so I can be away from you. Leave me alone. Also, if people take too long to reply on the chat thing, I ‘x’ them out and log off. I don’t wait around for people. The other day, out of curiosity I switched it to “online” just to see who was on. Then, someone popped up right away saying “heyyyy.” Yeah, no. I’m done doing that. That’s just annoying.

The other day, I deleted over twenty people from my friends list because I realized they really do not need to have access to my page (if you’re not my friend, you can’t see anything – not even my profile picture). I also have blocked people that I don’t care to see status updates from. I can still see their pages, but I don’t have to read their annoying updates.

For me, my relationship with Facebook is a love/hate one. I like staying in touch with people I don’t see over the summer, but sometimes it’s nice to get away.

For(n)ever

The word “forever.” What an overused word. Nobody knows the concept of forever. Nobody knows where forever is or how long forever is going to take. “This is going to take forever!” Yeah, doubt it. What a stupid hyperbole.

I can sort of understand if two people believe that they are going to be together “forever” if they are united in holy matrimony, but Divorce can still but its ugly head in there and Devour that useless forever. Forever is a hard word to comprehend, so why do people use it so often? Nobody knows the true meaning!

Teenagers are stupid. When it comes to relationships, they overuse this silly seven-letter word. (Yes, I am a teenager. I, however, am not stupid.) If someone can break your heart once, chances are they are capable of doing it again. Surely it would be a mistake to assume that the second time around is going to “last forever!” That’s just setting yourself up for heartbreak. Once that “forever” isn’t met, someone is left heartbroken. Assumptions lead to disappointment. Your aunt and uncle may have been high school sweethearts, but times have changed. There are far more fish in the sea.

I’m not dissing high school relationships. I’m dissing the stupid kids that think that they have found “the one” when their “significant other” is the only one they have ever met or fallen in “love” with. How do you know a person is The One when they have been the only one? I am a practical person. I care for my boyfriend with all of my heart, but I know not to assume that in ten years I’ll still be with him. I’m in high school. In two years, I’ll be facing my last summer as a real kid. In two years, no matter where he and I are in our relationship, we will most likely part ways. Until that time comes, I’m going to spend all of my free time with him; my best friend and my boyfriend. I can’t expect a “forever.”

I don’t know everything about everything, I’m just tired of people that seem to think that they do. I’m tired of people that talk about this concept of forever like they’re experts. None of us are; none of us ever will be. You can’t expect a “forever” when nobody even knows what this “forever” is.