Questionable behavior, apparently

He really brings the best out of me. Isn’t that what they –– significant others –– are supposed to do?

I promise not to get all mushy. But, seriously. He’s…he’s…himself. And I’ve never met anyone else quite like him.

He challenges me. He doesn’t accept my behavior, he questions it. He makes me think, and that’s exactly what he wants. (I think part of this is because he’s a few years older than I am.)

For example:

Me: “When I pull up to intersections I always turn my music down.”

Him: “Well, why do you do that?”

Me: “Uhh…I don’t know… I guess because I don’t want people to hear what I’m listening to and I don’t want older people judging me and thinking I’m just another stupid teenager.”

Him: “Why do you care what other people think?”


…yeah. I never know how to answer him when he calls me out on stuff like that. He’s made me realize just how self-conscious I never thought myself to be. Now that I’ve become aware of this little self-esteem problem, I’ve been trying to rid myself of it completely.

He’s also trying to slow me down so I can appreciate the little things. When we went for walks this past weekend, we walked at his pace rather than mine. You wouldn’t believe the difference. Miss Busybody always has something to do and somewhere to go. He’s slowing down the busybody in me. She’s still here, sure, but she knows that she doesn’t always have to be in a hurry just because her chosen career path forces her to be in certain situations.

When I look forward to something, I feel dread mounting up on top of the anticipation. I’m always anticipating the end of things. So, when I found out he planned to visit this past weekend (I looked forward to it for days), I told him how I already felt dread toward Tuesday, the set day of his departure. He told me to focus on enjoying the moment, instead.

“Don’t think about what comes afterward,” he said. So that’s what I did. I focused on the way his hand felt to hold, his musical laughter, his smile and our many conversations. It was hard to watch him leave, but I just smiled. I’d focused so much on the moment that, by the time this morning rolled around, it felt right. It needed to happen, much to my chagrin.

On top of the plethora of deep thoughts and conversations,  he makes me laugh like an idiot. Oh, and he plays guitar and sings to me.

I’m doing just fine. : )

Visiting the bro

For the past two summers, my eldest brother has been writing for The Chautauquan Daily newspaper that is distributed by little paper boys all across The Chautauqua Institution. Other than the snobby, old rich people, I actually would not mind living there.

Last summer we visited him at his job and went on a walk all around one side of the Institution. The sky started dropping raindrops (of course), but we kept going, letting our two dogs pull us along by their leashes. Despite the horrible weather, I found every aspect of the Institution absolutely gorgeous.

This year we visited again, walking along on the red brick and gazing in awe at some of the beautiful old homes. Again, it started raining while we were there. At first I braved the rain, letting the hood of my hoodie soak up the wetness, but then it became too much for me to handle. My dad gave me the umbrella he had been holding for me, and I put it up, instantly relieved by the dryness. Everywhere we looked, there were pretty houses and beautiful mansions. We passed a few houses that were erected this past winter of ’08; houses that didn’t even exist when we visited last year.

The snobby people that live there ignored us, so we ignored them. We walked and walked and walked, looking left and right at the architecture. We passed the Opera house and visited the Rain Garden outside of the theater building. We visited the Amphitheater again and listened to the Chautauqua Choir for a little while. I still find the Amphitheater amazing.

If I lived in the Institution, I would want to own a small cottage near the lake, overlooking the water. I would walk and ride my bike everywhere, and would go to the Amphitheater daily. Maybe I would try going to the Opera, but I would probably end up covering my ears and running out.

Our visits there have been pleasant – despite the heavy rainfall. Hopefully some Sunday we will go there WITHOUT rain following behind us.