Thirteen poems later…

Thirty days hath September, April, June and November…

Throughout this 2009 month of June I:

  1. wrote thirteen poems,
  2. apparently listened to 398 songs from iTunes while sitting at my computer (and I’m still adding onto that number),
  3. learned that some people believe that the black bits in a banana are tarantula eggs,
  4. watched Charlie’s Angels with a friend – and laughed at all of the horrible special effects,
  5. ran the fastest 1500 I have ever run and reset my school record (4:54),
  6. helped reset our school record once again in the 4X800 (split time: 2:24),
  7. volunteered for a youth track program,
  8. met a little girl who coined herself the name “Taco,”
  9. read the first-ever Emily the Strange novel,
  10. got writing advice from the co-author of that first Emily novel,
  11. laughed my ass off over a cooler that had a sign labeled “MILK,”
  12. watched my youngest older brother graduate from high school,
  13. ate several giant strawberry flavored marshmallows,
  14. finished my sophomore year of high school,
  15. took three grueling NYS Regents exams,
  16. received my last report card for this school year and was surprised by the grade I earned without even trying,
  17. did enough laundry to last me a lifetime,
  18. found my Pretty Pretty Princess game which I had not been able to locate for the longest time,
  19. found tears rolling down my cheeks after the announcement one of my favorite teachers had to give,
  20. conducted several angry rants in my head toward certain people,
  21. petted little golden retriever puppies, one after the other,
  22. wore pretty pink heels with chains,
  23. created my very first portfolio in hopes of securing another writing job,
  24. shared many secrets with one of my very best friends,
  25. revisited The Waterfall with my boyfriend, and got pushed into the steady stream of cold water,
  26. pretended to be Chinese/Japanese ping pong players with my friend and my brother’s friend,
  27. got one of my favorite songs RUINED by a couple of my friends who went to college and suddenly discovered the hidden meaning of it,
  28. learned that people down in central Pennsylvania often slip and say “let’s go hale some bay!”,
  29. strapped parachutes onto little kids and watched them run around and
  30. lived and breathed during every single one of these.

So, I guess this is goodbye, June. You and May are my two most favorite months of the year, and both of you are over already. Thanks for the rain, the sun, the wind and the thunder and lightning. I’ll see you next year; the last June before the June of my high school graduation. What a scary thought.

For(n)ever

The word “forever.” What an overused word. Nobody knows the concept of forever. Nobody knows where forever is or how long forever is going to take. “This is going to take forever!” Yeah, doubt it. What a stupid hyperbole.

I can sort of understand if two people believe that they are going to be together “forever” if they are united in holy matrimony, but Divorce can still but its ugly head in there and Devour that useless forever. Forever is a hard word to comprehend, so why do people use it so often? Nobody knows the true meaning!

Teenagers are stupid. When it comes to relationships, they overuse this silly seven-letter word. (Yes, I am a teenager. I, however, am not stupid.) If someone can break your heart once, chances are they are capable of doing it again. Surely it would be a mistake to assume that the second time around is going to “last forever!” That’s just setting yourself up for heartbreak. Once that “forever” isn’t met, someone is left heartbroken. Assumptions lead to disappointment. Your aunt and uncle may have been high school sweethearts, but times have changed. There are far more fish in the sea.

I’m not dissing high school relationships. I’m dissing the stupid kids that think that they have found “the one” when their “significant other” is the only one they have ever met or fallen in “love” with. How do you know a person is The One when they have been the only one? I am a practical person. I care for my boyfriend with all of my heart, but I know not to assume that in ten years I’ll still be with him. I’m in high school. In two years, I’ll be facing my last summer as a real kid. In two years, no matter where he and I are in our relationship, we will most likely part ways. Until that time comes, I’m going to spend all of my free time with him; my best friend and my boyfriend. I can’t expect a “forever.”

I don’t know everything about everything, I’m just tired of people that seem to think that they do. I’m tired of people that talk about this concept of forever like they’re experts. None of us are; none of us ever will be. You can’t expect a “forever” when nobody even knows what this “forever” is.

As you would have done unto you

I have learned many lessons in my fifteen years. Not as many as other people have, I’m sure, but I am getting there.  I could sit here and try to think of them all, but there is only one that stands out to me everyday to show just how prominent it is. Being polite gets you far. No question about it.

My parents have always taught me to say “please” and “thank you” whenever the chance arises; to be courteous and open a door or two for people, and to help an old lady out by loading her groceries into her car. (Okay, so that hasn’t happened yet, but I am waiting for the chance to do so!) It’s not like we – or I – believe in karma, that what goes around comes around (in this case, it’s a good “what”), it’s more like we go by “do unto others as you would have done unto you.” It’s that sort of thing. So, when I have to pass in front of a person or need a person to move out of the way, I say “excuse me” and get what I needed accomplished complete in a polite and sincere manner. I hold doors open for people, and when I hear a simple “thank you” it makes me happy and brightens my day considerably. I am careful to lower my voice when in public so as to not annoy or aggravate those around me whom I do not know. I am considerate, courteous, and thoughtful. I think about not only what I need, but what others need and wish for as well.

Now, what’s the point of this insightful post? Well, today was one of those days where every person I met was not polite in any way whatsoever. In Walmart, my mother and I were in the produce department looking at the Clementine oranges, and this lady came over and leaned over where we were standing without a single uttering of “excuse me.” Each time someone does this to us, either my mother or myself will say “excuse me” for the person who lacked to do so. It is so rude to just barge in near a person whom you are not acquainted with. The nerve of some people!

Lastly, my mother and I went to Kohls to check out what kind of a selection of flannel shirts they carried. We purchased what we wanted, and headed out the door. Well, almost entering the  door we are heading out of troops three women. Okay, so my mom went on through and opened the outside door for them, and I opened the second door that led to the inside of the store. They walked on by. No acknowledgment. Not a single one of those three women said a tiny little “thank you.” They didn’t even look at us. Well, my mom yelled “you’re welcome!” and then we walked across the parking lot, ranting about how there are no polite people these days.

And it’s the truth. Honestly, some people have no class and are so rude that it kills me. No wonder our country is so messed up. People take the help they receive for granted, and don’t know how to feel thankful for anything. I was raised to be cordial and polite to everyone I ever come in contact with, whether I like the person or not. You’d better believe that my children will have manners and know how to say “thank you” more than every once in awhile. They will appreciate everything I have provided them with, and will hopefully spread it on to this thankless nation. The people in this state, in this country, no, in this world, need a little make-over. Maybe I shall build an arc and rid the world of all of these people with a teensy little flood. Start the world over with a group of people that know and adhere to my policy. “Do unto others as you would have done unto you.”

My friend Gemma Doyle

You know what? Forget Twilight. Forget New Moon. Forget Eclipse. And FORGET Breaking Dawn.

Take those books off of your bookshelf and shove them in the nearest trash can. (Sure, I enjoyed them a little, but not as much as I thought I would.)

Now, go to the nearest Barnes & Noble or Borders and pick up copies of the Gemma Doyle trilogy. Place said trilogy on your shelf where Twilight used to take up space, and take them down one by one to devour them. Join red-headed Gemma in her travels, her curiosity, her love and her troubles. Erase Bella Swan and Edward Cullen from your mind and replace them with Gemma and Kartik. Befriend Ann, Felicity and Pippa and travel with the three of them to the realms to frolick in the garden or take a ride with Gorgon. Find out who Circe is, find out who your friends are, and who your enemies are. Ignore the Rakshana’s requests and continue employing your magic.

I finished The Sweet Far Thing last night, and was struck in awe (well, awestruck). It wasn’t the ending I was hoping for, but strangely, it fit nicely. Libba Bray is far more talented and descriptive than Stephenie Meyer is in Twilight and the other novels. C’mon! Who doesn’t love an author who puts “She has never lived in the Victorian era, is not British, and has no superpowers, though if she did they would involve being able to eat her weight in Swedish fish without feeling the urgent need to shave her tongue afterward” in the ABOUT THE AUTHOR section? Bray’s ideas are fresh and original. If you do not love her, you must be mad.

Anyway, have someone pry Twilight out of your hands and read and remember A Great and Terrible Beauty, Rebel Angels, and The Sweet Far Thing. Instead of viewing that ghastly Twilight movie, read! I get angry if somebody compares Twilight to Harry Potter, but if one were to compare Gemma Doyle to Harry Potter, I actually would not mind. Nothing will ever beat HP, but I believe that Gemma comes pretty close.

Predestination

Everything happens for a reason. I totally and truly believe in it.

When I have made my brother and I late to school because I took too much time getting ready, I just think that maybe, because of my lateness, we avoided a fatal car accident. Maybe leaving earlier could have resulted in being forced to drive behind an extremely slow grandpa-driver with no chance of passing due to the double line that could have possibly made us late anyway. Then again, maybe being late isn’t the worst thing in the world. Said slow-driver could actually be saving our lives. Perhaps because we are following behind him at snail speed we are avoiding a collision with another car. Yes, I think about these things.

I am super paranoid all the time. I question myself and whether I have done something or not. “Did you unplug your hair straightener, Em?”

“Yeah…I did…at least I’m pretty sure I did. Wait, can we go back so I can check and make sure?”

With an exaggerated sigh and a moment or two of scolding me, whomever is driving will then turn around and head back home just so I can make sure I unplugged something. Of course, I always unplug my hair straightener, but I am never completely sure, even though I know deep down that I really did. This brings me back to my point of predestination. What if I had left it on and our whole house had burst into flames? What then, huh? If my parents sense a threat to their house or whatever, we turn right around even though it’s always for me and my paranoia. If we hadn’t have turned around we could have been involved in a car accident. I am thinking you can sense my greatest fear by now: death by car accident. I do not want to die whilst shut up in a car.

Predestination. I believe in it and I live by the rules of it. Everything that happens everyday happens for a reason. There is some reason why I am writing on my blog right now, I just don’t know yet. Everything happens for a reason, even if the reason why isn’t very clear.

How do we know?

Lately in my Earth Science class we have been studying the creation of the universe. This includes the “Big Bang” and yada yada yada. All this talk about our creation made me really dizzy and I began to have those thoughts that I often wonder about. How did we get here? What is the point of human existence? Are there other forms of life out there in space that we have yet to discover? Are these other forms of life wondering the same things as us? Gah, how it boggles my mind.

Studying this theory makes me feel extremely small. It also makes me feel so insignificant. In the grand scheme of things, I am just a speck on this Earth. The universe is HUMONGOUS…and I am just a tiny little person living my life day-to-day. Honestly, what is the point? Sometimes I think about human existence way too much and it really irks me that we have absolutely no answers as to why we are here. Yes, we have theories, but how do we know?

Maybe our purpose is better left unknown. I do not think I believe in this “Big Bang” theory…but I also do not think I believe in the “Creation” story. Where is this high and mighty God that everyone worships so diligently?

When we were watching a movie in Earth Science about how scientists think the world began, I was surprised to find that two of my very religious friends stayed put. If I were them, and what we were learning went beyond what I believe, I definitely would have walked out.

I do not know yet…religion and science just do not mix. Believe whatever you wish to believe, but I am still uncertain.